today, someone asked me why i was such a downer. i defended myself, saying i wasn’t and they asked why i wasn’t happy. i said i was, they said it didn’t seem that way. after i hung up the phone, i cried. not because i was sad, but because i knew it was true, i’m not happy. but you know what, i’m going to change that. starting when i wake up tomorrow morning. i’m not holding back anymore, i’m going to smile, and i’m going to suck it up and be happy. i know it doesn’t seem that easy, and who knows if it will actually be easy, but i’m going to do it. i’m on a journey to make myself happy. my weightloss is one way, but unless i change my attitude, i’m going to be stuck like this forever.
so thank you. thank you for calling me. thank you for saying what you did to me. sorry if i completely freaked you out or scared you away, by telling you what i did. but it’s nothing new in my book. people always leave. instead of dwelling on that now, i have to realize it’s a part of life whether i like it, or not.
so world, here i come, and i’m not holding back any longer.
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